I Stayed for the Leaving

There was a time
I feared no
more than I feared
being alone.

I feared silence—
the still nights
when no one called me
beautiful,
not even with praise
barbed by hunger.

So I said yes
to those who saw me
as warmth for cold hands—
not a soul
worthy of reverence.

And I waited—
not for love—
but for the quiet death
of their interest.

I knew it would come—
it always did.

They wore my softness
like winter coats,
then cast me off
when spring returned.

And when they left,
I didn’t mourn them—
I mourned the way
I had once again
forsaken myself
to be less lonely.

But no more.
Now, I guard the gate.
Now, I sit with silence
and name it peace.
Now, I choose myself—
first,
last,

always.