📓 Diary Entry: “The Man Who Wanted Proof”
He was a classmate—not a lover, not a friend.
Too ugly for that. Too loud for peace.
He was amusement wrapped in anxiety. A character I tolerated because he occasionally made me laugh in class—until he didn’t.
Today, he came to me not with warmth or sincerity, but with an agenda—disguised as frustration. He wanted a copy of the old syllabus. “It’s illegal,” he said. “Unfair.” He painted himself as a victim, a warrior for justice. But what he really wanted was proof—something he could use to fight a battle that didn’t belong to me.
When I didn’t hand it over, the tune changed. The “friend” tone faded. Suddenly, I was the problem. “Why are you defending him?” he asked, like I owed him loyalty I never signed up for. “It’s a waste of time talking to you,” he said, right after begging for my help.
What he didn’t realize is:
I don’t owe anyone involvement just because they’re loud and emotional.
I don’t owe proof, permission, or participation in their chaos.
He thought I’d fold because he begged.
He thought I'd bend because he begged again.
And again. And again.
But I don’t bend for boys who mistake persistence for power.
I don’t lose sleep over a classmate who thinks emotional blackmail is a good enough substitute for respect.
He was a classmate—nothing more.
Ugly in his approach, inconsistent in his logic, forgettable in every way except for this moment:
The moment I said no, and he didn’t know what to do with that kind of woman.
🚩 1. Guilt-Tripping & Emotional Manipulation
“Please, I beg you.”
“There’s no responsibility on you.”
“What harm does it do to you?”
“It's a waste of time talking to you.”
These are classic manipulation tactics. He tried pity, pressure, and passive-aggression, all to get what he wanted. That's not someone who respects boundaries.
🚩 2. Contradicting Himself
Claimed the professor ignored his email.
Then said the professor responded and told him the participation was out of 5%.
Said it was “illegal,” then said “I didn’t say he did anything wrong.”
This kind of inconsistency is a red flag for dishonesty or emotional volatility. He keeps shifting the narrative to suit his agenda.
🚩 3. Dragging You Into a Conflict That Isn’t Yours
He tried to make you responsible for helping him prove his case to the director.
Pressured you repeatedly even after you set clear boundaries.
People who don’t respect when you say “no” are showing that they care more about what you can do for them than about your comfort.
🚩 4. Willingness to Be Secretive
“I promise I won’t tell anyone I got it from you.”
Major red flag. If someone wants to hide your involvement, it’s a sign that what they’re doing is questionable—and they know it.
🚩 5. Entitlement
He treated access to the old syllabus like something he was owed, not something he was asking for as a favor.
He couldn’t accept that you were done with the course and had no obligation.
This sense of “you owe me because I’m upset” is a red flag for toxic behavior, especially if it continues in other areas of life.
🚩 6. Disrespect After Rejection
“It’s a waste of time talking to you.”
He only “valued” you when he thought you could be useful. As soon as you didn’t give him what he wanted, he turned dismissive. That’s not how decent people behave.
💡 What I Learned from the Syllabus Saga:
Not every classmate is a comrade.
Just because someone sits beside you doesn’t mean they stand with you.People will twist your boundaries into betrayal when they don’t get what they want.
Saying "no" doesn’t make you the bad guy—it makes you self-aware.Guilt-tripping is manipulation in a polite costume.
“Please,” “I beg you,” “what harm does it do to you?”—these are all tactics to make you feel responsible for their decisions.A contradiction is not a conversation.
Saying "it's illegal" and then "he did nothing wrong" isn't confusion—it's a red flag.Emotional chaos does not equal truth.
Just because someone is loud, persistent, or “pissed off” doesn’t mean they’re right.Your peace is more important than someone else’s grade appeal.
Especially when you’ve finished the course, graduated, and moved on. You don’t owe anyone your involvement—especially when they never respected your position to begin with.If someone is quick to change tone when they don’t get what they want—believe that.
That wasn’t friendship. That was convenience.Professionalism is staying calm when someone else is spiraling.
And you did that. Gracefully.
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