I met him at a Zoroastrian event.
I don't remember his name — he was irrelevant enough that it never stuck.
He didn’t go to our temple, but the other one.
He was short, not attractive, but sure of himself. Good for him.
We exchanged numbers.
The next day he asked if I was free.
I told him I had work.
He asked when my break was, said we could grab a bite to eat.
I told him I’d text him.
I never did.
Looking back, if he had been attractive — even mildly —
I might have made the same mistake as before.
I might have ignored the red flags just because he looked good standing beside them.
But I see it now:
The same old pattern.
Men who didn’t want to actually get to know me —
Just wanted to meet.
To slot me into whatever space they had open between errands and obligations.
At most, I would have had an hour.
And in that hour, I would have spent my time with someone who hadn’t earned it.
I didn't survive him by enduring him.
I survived him by never showing up.
🚩 Red Flags He Embodied:
No patience. Wanted to meet immediately without taking the time to know me.
No thoughtful planning. Treated meeting up like an afterthought.
Poor respect for my schedule. Wanted to wedge himself into my break rather than offer real time.
Low investment. Wanted easy access without any genuine effort.
Self-centered approach. Focused only on what worked for him.
Low standards for intimacy. Believed getting my number meant he deserved my presence.
Lack of real curiosity. More interested in meeting than knowing.
Overconfidence without substance. Sure of himself, but with nothing meaningful to offer.
🌿 What I Learned:
True interest is patient. It doesn’t rush or demand.
Effort matters. Being casual with me is not a compliment.
My time is valuable. I am not a filler between someone’s tasks.
Attraction cannot excuse patterns. Behavior overrules appearance.
Connection should feel comfortable, not pressured.
I don't owe access to anyone. Especially not for free.
Silence is dignity. Not every man deserves a goodbye.
Final Reflection:
Some men I survived by escaping too late.
Some I survived by seeing the trap and choosing not to step into it.
This was one of the quiet survivals —
The ones no one else sees,
But that carve new strength into your bones.
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